hold your sadness like a puppet

keep putting on the play

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things like that were so close but so fucking far away and for just a second. and every thing i tried was a half ass attempt, and i barely achieved a fraction of what i should have. but i'm here now and i'm still almost where i want to be.. almost happy enough.. this desire turns to loathing and i feel guilty for it. one step behind, and honestly it is my fault. i have to think, what the fuck am i doing?


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